My name is Aisha Alexander, and on my first Mother’s Day, as a mommy myself, I wanted to honor my own mother, Vi Alexander Lyles, by sharing with you some on the lessons on mothering #ViTaughtMe:
"Wanting the best for your children also means wanting the best for all the children of your community”
The success of each child is inextricably linked to all children in Charlotte. My mother taught me that, even as a child, I had a duty to care for and nurture those around me. In elementary school, this meant making sure no one ate lunch alone or helping someone who was struggling with their homework. Today it means fighting to ensure every child has access to diverse schools with great facilities and teachers, and a safe, beautiful, affordable place to call home - things I have committed myself to, following my mother’s lead.
“Together, we can always find a way”
The majority of my life, my mother raised my brother and me by herself. Being a single mother is hard work, and parenting, no matter your family structure comes with many challenges along the way. But my mom Vi never runs away from a challenge; she literally puts the issue on the table (if you’re lucky along with some of her famous chocolate chip cookies) and pulls up a seat for everyone involved, no matter how divided, angry or seemingly broken they may be, and finds a solution. I’ve seen her do this every day of her career - listening to her call every council common ground. Bringing together people across lines of difference when it seems impossible - that’s her specialty.
“Be authentic”
My mom always says “say what you can do and be clear on what you can’t”. She wasn’t trying to be my best friend - she wanted to be my best mother. That meant making tough decisions. But she never made me a promise she knew she couldn’t keep. We live in a world of empty promises. Many communities, particularly those that have been historically disenfranchised have had promise after promise broken. It is unfair and unjust to tell people things they want to hear to win a popularity contest. False representations lead to broken relationships. My mother has always taught me to do what she does herself - show up authentically, be yourself, speak from your heart and tell your truth.
“Stand up even if it means standing out”
At the age of 5 months, my daughter Hailey attended her first march, the Women’s March in Washington DC. I have marched for Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Keith Scott and far too many others. This call to stand up against injustice is because of my mother. She taught me to stand up, unafraid when I see a break in the systems meant to protect us. Though she does it from behind the dais and I do it by taking to the streets, she taught me, as I will teach my daughter, everyone has an important role in the pursuit of justice.
I am proud to have shared my mother with the citizens of Charlotte for my entire life. As she has loved, nurtured and mothered me, she has loved, nurtured and mothered the Charlotte community. Charlotte would be lucky to have her as mayor, almost as lucky as I am to have her as a mom.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Aisha
