Muscatine

Deer Santa,

It's Crismas again! Yippee-kay-yay! I can hardly beleeve it's been a yeer since I rote you, and I gotta say thanks so darn tooting much for the stuff I got last year. That big toy military base in Kosovo sure is pert cool. In fact, Uncle Donald tells me its the biggest in all Urope.

I'm riting this on my way to Urope now, Santa, in my own plane. Its real cool but a bit old and they won't let me fly it unless I sit on the pilots nee and pretend. Urope will be old and cool. Can't wait. I heard they have no cars over there so I mite be riding horses all the time which will be darned trifik!

That new pony you gave me last year was cool to. I called him Mr Ed cos sometimes when we're alone he talks to me just like that Mr Ed on TV used to talk. But my Mr Ed's in color though. He's swell! I didn't like those Pokemon toys tho Santa. Pa says I'm too old for Pokemon. I swapped em with Jeb for some GI Joe figgars. Hope you don't mind Santa.

Anyways, now its Crismas 2008 and I can't beleeve it! I didn't think I'd be riting this year cos Colin told me you weren't real, you were reelly Uncle Dick dressed up in a red suit. I didn't beleeve him, honest injun!

Anyways, Santa I've been a good boy all this long darn year. I've been praying to Baby Jesus every night and helping my mum and dad with their chores. Anyways, cos I've been so darned good, I've rote a Crismas list that's a lil bigger than last years.

Here goes: 1. Iraq and all their oil 2. LEGO harry potter chamber of secrets 3. LEGO professor dumbledores office 4. Crismas Turkey 5. Monsters Inc. xbox game 6. A new cowboy hat 7. One of those darned cool bombs that wipes out caves and stuff big time. 8. Another pound of coke.... 

Anyways I hope you and mrs Claus have a darned tooting swell crismas two. I'll leeve you some cookies and jack daniels like normal.

Luv

George w. bush (ps. This yeer I learnt that george akchally has to e's in it! Silly me huh santa?)

Even better...

Stenchyliberal:

"I seen to it that...."

An educated attorney....(?)

Even better; real world (Dec 2nd):

"Hot of the tele-type we have our latest forecast for Friday. Please remember anything longer than a 24 hour forecast is 50% less accurate then a coin toss."

Then? or than?

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Even better; real world (Nov 22nd):

Just keep beat that horse to death........ 

beat? or beating?

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Even better; real world (Nov 21st)

Mal-Mart News           

Mal? or Wal?

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Even better; real world (Nov 19th)

"I agree Jeff's story was just to sweet. (in a good way)"

to? or too?

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Even better; real world (Nov 28th):

No.... Just lost my will for useless banter. I've never found calling people wrong names to be humorious, but that's just me.

humorious? or humorous?

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Even better; real world (Oct 23rd):

"For me to argue with you would be mute"...."To suggest keeping the KKK busy as a positive may show us more of your opinion then you want to share."

Mute, davie...or moot?

"Then" or "than"

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I just luv it whan to faces are demonsstrateded, davie!

Welcome back Bigbrother....... Your absents was short but it was noticed.