Muscatine

I think we are smart enough to figure what some one is trying to spell VOM. Thank goodness people don't correct my spelling when I am on here drunk and trying to write, otherwise most of the posts would be about my incorrect spelling.

Otherwise your post cracked me up! The music group Eagles.......LOLOLOL!!

"Can you raed tihs? i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid; aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs then raed below." My knew spelling checker does knot all ways no sum of the write words two use. It tolled me awl of these words were spelled write. Ewe sea, eye halve a knew spelling checker own my pea sea. It was maid to make my miss steaks plane four me two sea. Did ewe find the blew sentences hard two read? Eye did to. They did knot make good since.

VOM, You have way to much time on your hands.....maybe you should take up drinking.

 

loofneknurd vuL,

How to Become a Drunk by Amina Hafiz Start drinking sometime between the ages of eleven and thirteen. A few months after you start smoking is fine. For your first time, spend the night at a friend's house and sneak out after her parents fall asleep. Walk out of sight and sit on the curb and gulp gin out of coffee cups. Make a face each time you put the cup down. Do not throw up. You are drinking to get drunk and you need to keep it all in. It will be another ten years before you learn the art of timed vomiting. Drink and smoke and feel you are so cool. Drink to get drunk every single time. Think it's cute when you're drunk. Wake up and think, "I want to do that again!" Decide you just like drinking. Continue drinking even when you know that you're already drunk. A good rule of thumb: If you can feel your teeth, you're not drunk. Practice until you can out-drink big drinkers. Learn how to get drunk more than once in a twenty-four-hour period. Blackout often. Think it's funny that you are frequently covered in bruises and scrapes that you have no recollection of getting. Think it's hilarious when you get cut off or thrown out. Figure out a way to add alcohol to every event -- discover it's fun to get drunk at the movies and at an 8-year-old's birthday party! Sleep on the bathmat at least three nights a week. Call friends to make sure you weren't an ass. When you start developing a high tolerance, switch your drink. Accidentally get drunk, especially when you've promised yourself you won't. Like at family events. Or when you go out with your coworkers and return with the nickname "this many," they'll have to tell you why. Avoid certain establishments due to faint recollections of embarrassing events. Lie about the frequency and volume of your drinking. Drink alcohol that you don't like. Wonder why you can't remember who you've hooked up with. Go through a lot of friends. Show up to work hung over and think nobody notices. Spend at least half of your weekends feeling like crap. Be ashamed of how you behave even if you're not entirely sure why. When other people worry, lie. Justify your behavior due to circumstance. If you can't convince them it was a one-off, decide not to drink hard in front of them. Have a Valium or Xanax with your drinks when they're not paying attention. Drink alone. For New Year's, resolve not to drink and drive anymore. By the month's end, modify that to "don't drive drunk when you are also throwing up out the window." Fail to understand why you don't like yourself. Go to a therapist. Lie. If they want to discuss your drinking, break up with them. Clearly they don't understand you. Decide that bad things happen when you are drunk because you are unlucky. Like that time in high school when you were raped. You won't allow yourself to call in sick when you are hung over, so you go to work reeking of alcohol or sometimes still a little drunk from the night before. If it's real bad, go home at lunch and nap. To become a drunk quicker, find other drugs to do while drinking. Like coke. Discover that, on coke, you can drink as much as you want and still not pass out! In fact, you will not able to sleep even if you want to. Make sure you have hard and fast rules about drugs, like never search it out or never pay for it. When those are discarded, start free basing and drinking with a working actor about ten-years older than you. Dream about getting drunk and the smell of the day's first line. You should be drinking, planning to drink, or hung over at all times. To be a good drunk, drinking must consume your life.