Muscatine

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews taking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’

The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’

‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.

‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man

‘Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.

‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone

. ‘Did you know that I can you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.

‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.

‘And you are still not afraid?’ asked Satan.

‘Nope,’ said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Why aren’t you afraid of me?’

The old man calmly replied, ‘Been married to your sister for 48 years.’

Good one.

Another old man was sitting in the back of another church while the preacher was expounding on the current fascination with the "paranormal".   How many of you in the congregation believe in Ghosts, he asked?   About 50% held up their hands.  The preacher was astounded.  How many of you think you've seen a ghost?  About 20% held up their hands.   Unbelievable!  How many think you have actually talked with a ghost?  About 4 held up their hands.  The preacher was dumbstruck.  Walking down the aisle he asked his final question.  "How many of you believe you have had sexual relations with a ghost?"   The old man in the back held up his hand.  The preacher addressed the old man loudly, "Do you mean to tell us, sir, that you actually believe you made love to a ghost?"   The old man cupped his hand to his ear and replied, "Ghost?   I thought you said goats!"

 To y'all. After all the obummer budget news, we all need a good laugh.