is a little homor so here goes.
Miss Beatrice,
The church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl setting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist..
'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package On the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'
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An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.
The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back.
He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea.
He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered,
"Hey there, sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!"
He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?"
The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "On my bill."
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman,touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."
The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."
The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck.
The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me...I'm drawin' disability!"
very funny,I HEARD THE 2ND ONE BUT YOU REALLY TONED IT DOWN.it's probably A good thing!!! your right we need some fun around here!
