Muscatine

Uh, finding out early on (preferably before the wedding) which one of you will be the one to "knuckle under".   To prevent confusion and misunderstandings.

By the way, can we have this "party" in an outside area that has no gravel laying around?  I want to punch a few of you in the nose and that will probably start some trouble.  I hate getting gravel ground into my elbows and knees during a riumble.  Can we eat before the trouble starts?

I want to thank those of you who have posted here with your comments.  Right now I am just asking everyone to suggest a place to meet.  Since this seems to be a chore, I am going to suggest the Hill Top Tavern as a place to get together.  I don't mind anyone knowing who I am but you would not have to identify yourself.

If I have caused anyone problems with my post, it was not intentional and I apologize to those of you who feel that way.

Jack Harmon (jeh444@machlink.com)

Well, that would work for me, Jack, but I'd have to think long and hard about showing up.  It would be fun to 'put a face to the name", but I kinda wonder if it take some of the fun out of posting.  If PMF would promise to show up with a relish tray, I might reconsider.

Ha Ha. 

DF asks what makes a marriage good, Nedl says "Awayness".  That's the funniest thing I've read all day.

I don't know DF.  I don't think every marriage is the same, so what works for some would never work for another couple.   Mine works....or has worked thus far, and it's been almost 29 years.  Yep, Lilsmom is an old folk   I couldn't begin to explain why, but I do feel very lucky. It's a lot of give and take, and I'm sorry if that sounds cliche, but it's NOT always 50/50.....but I think it balances out.  You may be a person who gives 75 % all the time in your marriage, and that's okay, but when you really really need your spouse to step up, they should be there. I do think, though, that people sometimes give up too easily.  Not all people in a troubled marriage should remain, but in general, I think folks give up to quickly.  I also think people might have unrealistic idealistic expectations of what marriage should be, and they are disillusioned when it doesn't turn out like they thought it would.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who wondered if marriage "forever" is really an outdated concept.  A couple centuries ago, marriage "till death do us part"  wasn't that long.  With the increase in life expectancy over the years, a life-long marriage is a much longer time. 

Anyway, I don't really have advice, but those are just my thoughts.

Lil