Muscatine

There was 2 flies on a big piece of crap.

One fly let out a big fart. The other fly fly said:"HEY! I'm eating here!"

Why did the kitten cross the road?

Because it was tied to the chicken.

(insert boo's and hisses here)

Little Johnny is sitting on the curb, holding a pop bottle with his thumb over the opening. The bottle has some liquid in it and Johnny is looking at it as he turns the bottle upside-down, then rightside-up.

Father O'Malley comes along and asks, "Hey Johnny, what do you have in that bottle?"

"Turpentine!" replies Johnny, "It's the most powerful liquid in the world!"

"Oh, I beg to differ, Johnny." said Father O'Malley. "Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Why, if you put a drop of Holy Water on a pregnant woman's stomach, she'll pass a healthy child."

"That's nothing!" said Johnny. "I put a drop of this on my cat's ass and he just passed a motorcycle!"