Muscatine

The itch ...


Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts and Nick the Dragon Slayer who obsessed over the Queen. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his friend Horatio, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about it and said that he could arrange for Nick to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching began and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure the itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would. The King, eager to help his Queen, summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.

The moral of the story...

Pay your bills.

LOL thats good.......

Dr Stitchem was trying very hard to convince Percy that he should give up drinking.

"Ever notice a cactus plant?" he asked the boozer. "If you pour water around its roots it thrives, turns greener and grows bigger. Take the same cactus plant. Pour vile liquor on it and what happens? It shrivels, it shrinks, it dies. Doesn't this teach you anything?"

"Yes," said Percy. "If you want a cactus growing in your stomach drink water."