Muscatine

You Know You Are in a Redneck Church When...

* People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

* People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

* The pastor wears boots.

* The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.

* Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

* A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

* When it rains, everyone is smiling.

* Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

* The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".

* Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

* There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

* Baptism is referred to as "branding".

* There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

* Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

* High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

* People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.

* The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, yah hear?"

Dang......I go to this church!

I thought I saw you there. You win some poker money or something? You had new looking overalls on.