I usually park in lot 4 (behind the Medical Arts Bldg) but that has been torn up for the last couple of weeks so I have been parking on the riverfront. I got out of my car this morning and I heard someone calling. “Opinionated.” “Opinionated!” I looked around and didn’t see anyone till I realized it was Harry Mollusk the clam god calling me. I went over. “Good morning your clamship.”
“Have you noticed things have been slow and lack luster on Neighborhood Link lately?”
“Yes as a matter of fact I have noticed that.”
“I have put a curse on the neighborhood.”
“Why? Why would you do that, your clamliness?”
“I have not been getting the homage and attention a god of my status deserves. They have all forgotten about me. DF used to bring an offering of a six pack down once a week. Granted he would drink it before he left but never the less he hasn’t been around in weeks. Nedl used to come down and pay homage to me with pictures of Judy Juggs dressed in sexy outfits. I loved the one with her in those rubber, high waders. I miss that. Tlou used to make her famous clam dip and bring it to me as an offering, but she hasn’t been here in a while. Even Kenn hasn’t been here in a while. He used to come down and regale me with his fishing adventures. I used to love that. We are both men of the river you know. And Frazzled, I miss her, she used to come down during a full moon and dance naked before me. The people have forgotten me, ME, their clam god.”
“I am sure they don’t mean any disrespect. Everyone just gets busy with their own lives.”
“You must tell them that I have been offended and forgotten. If they do not start paying me more attention and homage I will punish them!”
“Just how do you plan to do that?” I asked trying not to aggravate him further.
“YOU, Opinionated, I will unleash you on them. You will again punish them with your sick jokes and boring disgusting stories till they realize the full wrath I have! Warn my subjects Opinionated and let them know of my anger.”
“ I promise, your clamliness, I will do as you ask.”
“And tell Wroe I want her to come down here and polish my clams.”
So everyone you have been warned!
WELL he can forget about that!the last time he promised me A string of pearls and he never came across so
he can go to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
