A boxing glove shotgun. It would be a boxing glove on a recoil spring that when the trigger was pulled would shoot out and hit someone in the head. The idea being when a biker comes along with an obnoxiously loud motorcycle you aim for the guys head and knock him off his bike. (sorry gta) Or if an obnoxious teenage skateboarder was terrorizing the sidewalks just shoot him in the groin and problem solved.
Saran Wrap with mold printed on it. This is so I could cover the leftover pieces of cake and no one would come along and eat it.
Vocal Chord Anestitizier This would be a ray gun type device that would anestitize ones vocal chords so they could not be heard. The tongue would still be wagging and the lips a flapping but no sound. Like the mute button on your remote. This would be for when your mother-in-law comes to visit, or when the wife decides to be chatty Cathy during the football game, or for crying babies in restaurants. It would also work for neighborhood cats in heat.
Basketball Spatula So when you are cooking and you drop the spatula it will bounce right back up to you.
Shamwow Maxi pads I mean if they are really that absorbent… We could market them as Shampax. Let’s see the shamwow guy demonstrate these. Or even shamwow armpit cups. Never have those embarrassing stains on your clothes again.
Teflon coated underwear Those brown streaks would peel right off like a chocolate fruit roll up. Then you just feed it to the dog. Great for when those hemmroid flare up too.
Sugar Bikinis Fashionable bikinis made out of sugar the women can wear to the beach. Then when they would go in the water all the sugar would dissolve away. Hee Hee Hee Hee
Home Colonoscopy Kit Save you those embarrassing trips to the doctors. If it comes out pink you are fine. If it comes out blue go see your doctor. If it comes out brown, get less fiber in your diet.
Baboon Butt Bathing Suits for men. Imagine a real hairy guy with hair all over his chest back and legs wearing one of these. Girls I know your getting excided.
Nuclear Powered Vibrator This would save us a small fortune on AA batteries. I’m just afraid women might start glowing in places that women shouldn’t glow. Guys it would be like opening the refrigerator door, she opens her legs and the little light comes on.
Remote Control Gooser This electronic device would send out a laser that would make a person feel like they just got goosed. Great for when you are walking behind slow people, or old people having a hard time getting up the steps, just zap them 6 – 7 times and see how fast they get up those steps. Have fun in line at the theatre, zap the woman’s behind who is about 4-5 people ahead of you and watch her turn around and slap the guy behind her. Great for parties too.
Chia Pits A ceramic vase shaped like underarms that when the growth comes out it looks like a French woman.
Beer Suppositories I just think it would be a hoot watching DF get hammered this way. If he was drinking this way and had his pants down around his ankles, would that be considered an open container? You have to admit it adds a whole new dimension to the term “Bottoms up.”
