How to piss up a rope:
1. You'll need about 8-10' of 1" 3,000 LB. Avg. Tensile Strength, Cotton, 3-strand rope. This rope is made from very high quality cotton yarns 100% through giving this rope a creamy white color. The result is a very soft rope with excellent feel in a 3-strand design. Choose thick, cotton rope because it easily absorbs liquids.
2. You'll need to suspend the rope. Attach one end of the rope to either an eave of a house or, for best results with less cleanup, from the branches of a tree. Preferably use an Elm or a Maple, as they offer substantially better availability of horizontally positioned branches at the preferred height. Do not use evergreens, as their may be needles on the ground. (You find out why later.)
3. Suspend said rope with the low end high enough from the ground level to accommodate positioning of your body under it at the waist. (Near the end of the urinary tract.)
4. Remove all of your clothing to avoid soiling them with missed streams or urine. (Have a bucket of soapy water and fresh towels handy for cleanup.)
5. Lie down on the ground on your back with the end of the rope suspended just above your genitals.
6. Grab and hold the end of the rope to the end of your urethra and release a stream of urine. The cotton fibers of the rope should absorb most of it.
7. You are now pissing up a rope. Don't laugh, as that may cause sprinkling. Clean up when you're done.
8. If you bought the rope from Wal-Mart, and you kept the receipt, just roll the rope up and return it.
