Muscatine

Definition is sometimes based on the point of view...

    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
    Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
    Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
    Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
    Male.. Playing football without a cup.

    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
    Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
    Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

    4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
    Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
    Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
    Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
    Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
    Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
    Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
    Female..... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve
    Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
    Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
    Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

    AND;

    He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
    She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

    He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said . . ....That's a good idea - you stand by the sink and do the dishes while I sit on the sofa and fart!

    He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

    He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

    She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
    He said . . . A widow.

    He said . .Why are married women heavier than single women?
    She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

hilarious.......