You are a redneck if-
You can give a summary of all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes.
You think that Roe v. Wade is a decision you make when crossing the creek.
It takes you and 15 others in the same room to show off a full set of teeth.
You've ever stood outside a K-mart for more than an hour arguing with the manager about the shirt and shoes law.
You've ever gone Christmas shopping at the dollar store.
You've ever shoplifted Spam.
You don't understand why Bo and Luke never tried to get it on with Daisy.
Your son has ever stolen disected frogs from Biology class so that your family won't go hungry
The ASPCA raids your house
You wear shorts to a funeral home
You think that Roe v. Wade is a decision you make when crossing the creek.
It takes you and 15 others in the same room to show off a full set of teeth.
You've ever stood outside a K-mart for more than an hour arguing with the manager about the shirt and shoes law.
You've ever gone Christmas shopping at the dollar store.
You've ever shoplifted Spam.
You don't understand why Bo and Luke never tried to get it on with Daisy.
Your son has ever stolen disected frogs from Biology class so that your family won't go hungry
The ASPCA raids your house
You wear shorts to a funeral home
And....
On a recent quiz, I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? The correct answer is Africa.
I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plan for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened nearby but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
A friend just told me he is having sexual relations with both his girlfriend and her twin. I said: "How can you tell them apart?" He replied "Her brother's got a moustache"
Just put a deposit down on a new Porsche & mentioned it on Face Book. I said "I can’t wait for the new 911 to arrive!” Next thing I knew, 4,000 Muslims added me as a friend!
Being a modest person, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, you pervert, its regular porn.”
The Red Cross knocked at our door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches to the far edge of the garden.
I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plan for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened nearby but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
A friend just told me he is having sexual relations with both his girlfriend and her twin. I said: "How can you tell them apart?" He replied "Her brother's got a moustache"
Just put a deposit down on a new Porsche & mentioned it on Face Book. I said "I can’t wait for the new 911 to arrive!” Next thing I knew, 4,000 Muslims added me as a friend!
Being a modest person, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, you pervert, its regular porn.”
The Red Cross knocked at our door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches to the far edge of the garden.
