Muscatine

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned.  I have been with a loose girl".

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"Yes, Father, it is".

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation".

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.  Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say".

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it CAthy Piraiano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration.  "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.  But you've sinned and have to atone.  YOu cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.  Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads."

Dang 'puter keeps freezing up. I'm outa here.

When you are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When you are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your
husband at all times.

When you are dating..... He takes you out to have a good time.
When you are married ....He brings home a 6 pack, and says "What are you going
to drink?"

When you are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When you are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When you are dating..... A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When you are married ....A King size bed feels like an army cot.

When you are dating..... You are turned on at the sight of him naked.
When you are married ....You think to yourself "Was he ALWAYS this hairy????"

When you are dating..... You enjoyed foreplay.
When you are married ....You tell him "If we have sex, will you leave me
alone???"

When you are dating..... He hugs you, when he walks by you for no
reason.
When you are married ....He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

When you are dating..... You picture the two of you together, growing old
together.
When you are married ....You wonder who will die first.

When you are dating..... Just looking at him makes you feel all "mushy."
When you are married ....When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

When you are dating..... He knows what the "hamper" is.
When you are married ....The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage
area.

When you are dating..... He understands if you "Aren't in the mood."
When you are married ....He says "It's your job."

When you are dating..... He understands that you have "male" friends.
When you are married ....He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

When you are dating..... He likes to "discuss" things.
When you are married ....He develops a "blank" stare.

When you are dating..... He calls you by name.
When you are married ....He calls you "Hey" and refers to you when speaking to
others as "She."